I’ve got Santa’s email address

I just did it. I said “A****, Santa is watching and he’s making notes about whether you are good or bad.”
“How mommy?” He asks.
“He emails me. It’s a lot of magic, and a little email”

This is why I had kids. It’s what I knew in the core of my being before I was ever old enough to really consider having children. I was put on this earth to be their mama. I love this job!! I don’t like all the extras that seem to bog me down, like running a household, working on a marriage every G** D*** day but in a brief (and I mean brief) moment of clarity the scales balance out for me.
These two beautiful beings, with their quirks and idiosyncrasies and mind boggling questions, are the reason I breathe. They are the simple explanation as to why I didn’t drive my car into a tree three months ago in a moment of “I just can’t do this anymore”. How can you NOT do everything in your power to make yourself the best possible parent to these wonderful little monsters?
They don’t cringe anymore. I think I’m making progress. I was scared of my dad and I saw the same thing happening at home and it drove me to reach out and fix what is broken.
I just didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be. But that’s ok!! I like a challenge.
I had a chat with dear old hubby last night. After much discussion, he is back in my good books and thankfully not moving out, and going to go see someone with me. We want to learn how to resolve conflict better. I feel empowered again. If only because the delicate balance of my life is where it needs to be for now.
Today I’m back to the grind. Being active again has been wonderful. I’m ramping it up again this week to move past a plateau I’ve hit.
Spin class this morning, Pilates tonight, Latin groove tomorrow, spin/Pilates Thursday, and a treadmill/bike session on Friday evening. Saturday will be a rest day.
I’ve decided to cut out eating after supper and no booze during the week.
Time to refocus and get my brain on straight and life back in order. Christmas will not suck this year!!!!!

Have a good day!

Hmmm

Today is going so well! Loving my baby girl, feeling lucky to be hanging out with her and enjoying the weather and happy. Which makes me think-maybe I was overreacting? Was I jut being a baby and not being a big girl? Did I really cry that much?
It’s a very odd place to be.